Here’s one leadership idea and one resource I’ve found beneficial this week:
1 idea: Finding value in feedback
Imagine that you are raising money for your favorite charity. You are passionate about this organization, and you are doing everything you can to fund it. You and your kids bake cookies to sell. You ring a bell outside of Walmart. Plans for a car wash, silent auction, and spaghetti dinner are all in the works. If your wildest dreams come true, you’ll raise $100,000.
Then one day a grumpy, frumpy-looking man shows up to one of your events. “Here’s a donation,” he says, handing you a large burlap sack before disappearing into the crowd.
You open the bag and are immediately assaulted by the terrible smell. It is full of the most disgusting trash you can imagine. The stench of dirty diapers and rotten food make you want to vomit.
What a jerk, you think as you turn to take the garbage bag to the closest dumpster. As you hoist the rubbish up to the bin, you notice a card attached to it. You pause to read it—partly out of curiosity and partly so you can track down the prankster later to return the favor. Scrawled in small letters, you see a message:
Sorry for the garbage.
Here’s $1 million.
You snort in disbelief. Not funny, you think as you pick the sack up again to throw away. But then you pause and wonder. What if it’s true?
You stop, hold your breath, and open the bag once more. This time, you look a bit closer, and you glimpse a $100 bill underneath what used to be Chinese takeout. A roll of $20s is wedged under a pair of soiled socks. As your eyes search the bag, you start to see money everywhere. This sack contains everything you hoped to raise and more.
What would you do with that bag? Would you toss the dirty money into the dumpster and walk away? Or would you get a pair of gloves and start digging?
If you’re like me, you would light some strong-smelling candles and dig in. As revolting as the task might be, the momentary discomfort of rifling through that bag pales in comparison to the value you could extract from it.
Ironically though, many leaders do not take the same approach with feedback. We embrace the kind suggestion from our trusted friend but dismiss the barbed critique from our snarky coworker. Our critics and adversaries come to us bearing gifts of truth in the form of complaints or criticism, but we reject it because we don’t like the container it comes in.
How would life be different if you listened closely to everyone’s feedback, not just the people you like and respect? If you cared so much about Truth that you were willing to hear it even from the people you despise?
If we truly embrace a growth mindset, anyone who can help us get better becomes our ally. Truthfully, sometimes our fiercest critics are even more valuable than our friends because they will say things to us that kinder people will not.
Don’t get weighed down by the garbage that some people bring with them. If there is any truth in what they share, do the hard work of digging through the stink to extract value. If you discard it without examination, the only one who loses out is you.
***
Where have I been critical, defensive, or dismissive of feedback recently?
What would it look like to thoughtfully process that feedback to see if there’s any truth in it?
What would I gain if I could learn from everyone around me, even the people I don’t like or respect?
1 resource: Growth Mindset assessment
I was recently thrilled when one of my research heroes, Dr. Carol Dweck, granted me permission to use her groundbreaking Growth Mindset assessment with my clients. Today, I am pleased to share that with you as well. This 8-question assessment will help you assess your own mindset and consider what the next step might look like for you.
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