Hey there! Here’s one leadership idea and one resource I’ve found beneficial this week:
1 idea: Choose to lose
Last summer, my wife reached out to schedule some time with a mentor, and it took a few days for her to respond. When she finally replied, my wife's friend apologized for the delay. But then she shared a revealing and insightful comment that I’m still thinking about today: “I am never going to win the contest of fastest email response.”
Her words brought a smile to my face. In a world where many leaders feel chained to their phones and emails, it's easy to feel like we only fight fires all day. As a result, we become more fatigued, distracted, and disgruntled as our core priorities get ignored.
To combat this natural tendency, this woman has decided in advance that there are some contests she simply won't compete in. Doing so eliminates the guilt, shame, or pressure she might feel around trying to “win” these games.
Her decision prompted me to ask myself, "What are the games that I should choose to lose? Which games don't help me become more of the kind of person I want to be?" Here's a snippet of my list:
I will not be the most informed about current events, pop culture, or sports
I will not have the most amazing social media presence
I will not earn the most money or build the largest company
I will not chase the most Instagram-worthy vacations
I will not have the most high-performing kids
When I read this list of Thou Shalt Nots, my body issues an involuntary sigh of relief. Not only is letting go of these expectations relaxing, it also frees up energy for other pursuits. By choosing to lose these games, I stand a better chance of winning the ones I care about most:
Being the best possible husband to my wife—seeing her flourish as I support and cherish her
Being the best dad for my children—one who truly delights in his kids
Being the most helpful, thoughtful friend to my inner circle
Being the best partner for my current clients by showing up with wisdom and presence every time
Being with Jesus, becoming like Jesus, and doing what he did
Although you undoubtedly have different priorities based on your unique values and season of life, I believe we’d all benefit by identifying the games that we choose to lose.
***
What games do you find yourself playing?
Which ones should you choose to lose?
Which games would that enable you to win?
1 resource: Essentialism
I love Greg McKeown's Essentialism. It captures so much truth about our need to clarify our priorities in work and life and eliminate everything else that is not essential for us. It's such a practical and insightful guide for the challenges that leaders are facing every day.
If you haven't checked it out yet, you can find the book on Amazon or wherever books are sold.
If you purchase a book via the link above, I may receive a small commission (at zero cost to you).
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